Woes of Subordination

Sure, it can be quite enriching to be guided by a mentor or a boss and to be told HOW to do things. There are few things that can parallel the experience, of course, if the boss is of a commendable nature and has the elusive quality of swallowing his/her ego to deal with you. I have worked only in a handful of companies and under some quite privileged bosses. Why, you ask, am I not the one honoured here, but the boss? Well, because he/she’s fortunate enough to be a guide of ‘How-not-to-be’ and no one gives credit to the giver there; if they taught me how to be, I could sing their praises and glories, but it is not so. 
Fortunately for me, I lived my childhood under a very bossy sister, through whom, I learnt how to stand strong, to fight back and never give in. She, however, has this amazing quality of being stern yet considerate of the subject’s feelings. Fight back, I did; hurt the opponent, no. I have been taught as much by my family as the circumstances of my life hitherto, to be strong and yet gentle, to be generous and allowing yet be able to put my foot down when it doesn’t feel right. I have been taught patience, honour and respect, three things I expect to a bare minimum of anyone who crosses my path. Call me intolerable, but that is the way I’m wired and that’s how life makes sense to me.
Subordination, I feel is a very precarious position to be in. One can either be open to the advantages AND shortcomings that come with it or be very grouchy and sour about being treated low. A modicum of respect for a person’s intellect and an enthusiasm for their way of doing things would be well appreciated, since if I’m being treated less than what I am, I will expend majority of my efforts to reach a standing where I am of any considerable value. Then when will I endeavour to grow, to reach my capacity and beyond? The least one expects for one’s work is at least a nod of acknowledgement, even if not a thorough and detailed description of our endeavour. Not doing so, would be an insult to our trials and the lack of acknowledgement would be rubbing salt into the wound. 
This I write in desperation, in a fit of anger that is unbecoming of me. I have but few expectations of people and like everyone else who expect, it has been my undoing. If I’m being tested for patience, it is a very unethical way to do so. I don’t mind being assessed for my dedication and passion toward what I commit myself to. Today, I have learnt that many people do not care for their inferiors in the way one expects. I just have to stow away my temper and look about for an astute and witty way of dealing with this overwhelming situation. I have a long way to go and yet more to learn. As they say, to the victors go the spoils. I have emerged from this situation, having learnt something that has enriched my character and broadened my view of people if by a minute degree.

Cared

Dear xxx,

It is not uncommon to feel left out or uncared for. Especially when you don't have your usual strength or when the people you usually interact with are in their own worlds.

I am the kind of person who can get extremely interactive with people and at times I give off the aura of a recluse. What I'm trying to say is that with people like me, there are times when you are surrounded and pampered and engaged and at other times, people are around but not involved in your life. I wouldn't encourage the chain of thought that says, "It's okay to be alone without the usual people around. It's okay not to rely." I discourage this because if you're feeling it, you NEED the company. We usually don't figure this out in our lives (hence, building our circle in such a way that you will have someone to rely on till we die - in most cases, a spouse or a partner) and I happened to stumble on it during my travels. I wish you fond it in your own peace , but I'll tell you anyway: it is not easy to be with yourself. And you wanna know why? It's because we don't know how beautiful, strong or characteristic we are. And I tell you this for sure, when you once understand your true beauty, you'll be enchanted by it. You will enjoy exploring your depths every moment you are left without the company of others. You push your limits on the outside, yet you do not explore within. I hope you do. Then you will find that solitude can be truly amazing. When you crave for company no more, you shall not even notice that you are by yourself. I'm not saying here that we let go of our circles or relations. I'm saying that we learn to enjoy being by ourselves too. The company we miss most or need is that of ourselves. You may think I'm rambling, and it's quite alright. Because I had to tell you this. What you do with it is your pot of gold.

Happy Exploration!

May Peace Dwell in Your Heart.

P.S. I hope you become "I, me and myself" in those moments of solitude. Not in a selfish way of course, but in a self-exploratory, soul-searching, I-am-beautiful kind of way.

A Psalm for Life

"Let us, then, be up and doing

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labour and wait."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It's over a hundred years old, but it is a very beautiful psalm. And very deep if you think about it. It is true that it is not enough to dream. Sarah Ann Breathnach, author of a comfort book, says, "We must do something about bringing our dreams into the world EVERY DAY, if we only have fifteen minutes out of every twenty-four hours to concentrate on our calling. Is there a phone call you can make? A letter you can send? One page that you can write? A mailing list you can get yourself on? Five pages of a book you can read? An organization in your dream field that you can volunteer your way into? You'll be amazed at the power of fifteen focused minutes!" How about that!

And then she says, "We have to surrender expectations, delivery details and the world's reception to Spirit. Become open to Divine fine-tuning and finishing touches. Birthing a dream is a collaborative effort." And I'm like, wow! Birthing a dream is a collaborative effort. I'm rolling those words in my mind. Never have I come across it being put in such a delicately beautiful way! Birthing a dream. We're so busy dreaming that even after its gestation period, we don't bother letting it out. Now this is going to change my life with all the little 15 minutes I can spare!

Unique

I was right. When people told me that I was unique, I used to tell them, "So is everyone", and I believed it truly, despite repeated protests from the very generous appraiser. Well, I never felt overwhelmed by any one person particularly. I have seen everyone around me and have been fascinated by each and everyone. I remember that in school, instead of sticking to closely-knit groups, as was the norm, I would interact with any and every one, even people of other classes. My group would sometimes eye me with narrow-eyes, but I kept talking to everyone. Make no mistake, I loved people of the group very much. I just couldn't see any point in being in a tight circle of people.

Of late, I have been spending time with one of my colleagues. I have become privy to the minute intricacies of his character in the time we have had to spend together. I am seeing new sides of him every other day and then it hit me: Everyone IS unique. Everyone has beautiful sides to them. Everyone has something that can overwhelm you and it is time, that brings out these points for you to appreciate. For some, these amazing qualities lay bare on the surface to be felt by anyone they meet. For others, the ones who don't really shine for anyone and everyone, their spark lies beneath a layer of sobriety and self-restraint. Why the layer, you ask: it may be because they're shy, wary of the environment, creating an impression (or warding off a negative one) or avoiding being judged. Whatever the reason, once you see the spark, you realize how amazing the other person can be.

My point here is that everybody has that spark in them if you bother to take time and notice it. Give yourself a chance to observe and flow. You'll be amazed at how much magic people have in them.


Light up the world around you! Everyone has the spark.